hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
