Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
