Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
