covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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