i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
