Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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