remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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