I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
