it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
