Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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