He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I look better un-naked...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize