Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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