a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
