I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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