a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
