I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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