just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
