marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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