Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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