and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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