hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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