Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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