Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
