its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
