Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
