im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize