I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
