So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
