4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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