My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
