Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
