You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
