Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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