Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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