I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
