Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
