Me. At least after what I've been through.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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