Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
