yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
