Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We need a shit load of segways right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar