I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.