yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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