I'm drive I can fine osifer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.