Texts From Last Night

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.

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  (403): just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong. http://tfl.nu/sr7f
  Replies (19) Good night (2373) Bad night (969)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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  (954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo
  Replies (18) Good night (2026) Bad night (516)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10210) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you

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  (231): I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you http://tfl.nu/n6kx
  Replies (20) Good night (6248) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?

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  (408): My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/68pr
  Replies (8) Good night (2558) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.

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  (303): Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life. http://tfl.nu/83b6
  Replies (8) Good night (2970) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!

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  (416): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?! http://tfl.nu/lb62
  Replies (12) Good night (1030) Bad night (2158)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (4090) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

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  (304): I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me. http://tfl.nu/6i2r
  Replies (6) Good night (2577) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.

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  (612): Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report. http://tfl.nu/1t2g
  Replies (4) Good night (1628) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.

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  (817): Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots. http://tfl.nu/sx8s
  Replies (6) Good night (455) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?

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  (610): I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason? http://tfl.nu/yqy8
  Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.

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  (314): My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done. http://tfl.nu/u7ub
  Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.

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  (315): Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men. http://tfl.nu/0oi0
  Replies (6) Good night (572) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment

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  (651): I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment http://tfl.nu/g035
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (242)

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