I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
