We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
