i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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