Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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