My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize