Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I did not marry a roomba.
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