Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
