I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
