those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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