if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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