tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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