I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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