I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
