Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i think my cat just said my name.
It's shark week go big or go home
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
