Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize