All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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