now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
