your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
