well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
