I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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