Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
