im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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