That's intense
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize