awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
