He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
