apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
